  queer belonging. 
  sex positivity. 
  creative ritual. 
  inclusive judaism.
  	

Rabbi Nikki DeBlosi (she/her) (BA, MA, PhD) connects folks to the breadth & depth of Jewish tradition through inclusive, innovative, & insightful Jewish teaching, speaking, & ritual. A tattooed, polyamorous, queer, suburban, stay-at-home parent, Rabbi Nikki was raised Catholic and converted to Judaism as an adult. She’s an avid reader (especially romance), a fan of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, & a choral singer.

Extinguishing Havdalah Candle Hertzberts Wedding.jpg

abundant love: judaism & today’s polyamory

What can the practice of polyamory teach us about a liberated, feminist, queer-inclusive, contemporary Jewish life?

From relationships detached from ancient sexist frameworks to meaningful love inspired by the rich library of Torah and Talmud, Rabbi Nikki’s upcoming Abundant Love: Judaism & Today’s Polyamory will offer fresh interpretive readings of ancient Biblical and Rabbinic texts, alongside contemporary poly thinking and experience, in order to challenge restrictive norms, expand a sense of belonging, and meaningfully connect to Jewish tradition and wisdom. Jewish folks of various family and relationship structures will find suggestions for ways to celebrate love in all its forms.

You can support Rabbi Nikki in this work by participating in a narrative survey for folks who identify as Jewish and polyamorous. Complete the Survey

lifecycle & ritual

Rabbi Nikki is currently booking for spring 2025, and beyond. Book your free consultation

Rabbi Nikki brings Torah to your community in a relevant, meaningful way.

Rabbi Nikki stands by the East River in Brooklyn, with a wedding couple smiling in the background.

A queer couple sit at a table with their hands on a beautiful ketubah (Jewish marriage contract) while looking to Rabbi Nikki, who is off-camera

Rabbi Nikki connects with a Jewish baby as she bestows a Hebrew name.

A bat mitzvah delivers her davar Torah (words of Torah) while Rabbi Nikki smiles proudly.

Rabbi Nikki signs a ketubah in Prospect Park on a cold winter’s day during a COVID-19 era wedding.

Rabbi Nikki passes the Torah to a proud Jewish teen.

Your milestone moment or important transition deserves more than a cookie-cutter ceremony. Together we’ll explore existing customs and discuss your needs and values so that I can craft an experience that connects you and your community to a sense of relevant spirituality, deep Jewish learning, and broad peoplehood. I am passionate about providing a sense of rootedness and validation for all, including interfaith families, polyamorous folks, and queer folks seeking to embrace Judaism in their lives.

examples

Engagement & Wedding Combine the gravitas of a clergy-officiated ceremony with the personalization that comes from taking the time to learn and prepare together. 3 counseling sessions precede your ceremony day in my typical process, but can be customized. No co-officiation, but interfaith partners welcome. Queer and poly affirming. Book your free consultation

Non-Traditional Weddings All lifecycle rituals I officiate are personally attuned and individually crafted. That said, I do officiate non-Jewish weddings, with a particular attention to ceremonies that challenge previous assumptions about marriage. Book your free consultation

Baby or Child Naming & Welcoming Mark the entrance of a new person into your family and explore Jewish ideas around parenthood and community. A 45-60-minute preparation session precedes a warm ceremony. No co-officiation, but interfaith families welcome. Book your free naming/welcoming consultation

Bet Mitzvah Whether you’re marking a Jewish coming-of-age at 12 or 13, or endeavoring a period of study at any age, learn with Rabbi Nikki in preparation for a ritual of entering and claiming Jewish adulthood. Curriculum uses hevruta (paired) study to explore questions like “What does Jewish adulthood entail?”, “How do Jews cope when bad things happen to good people”, “What is prayer?”, and others. Book your free consultation

Gender Affirmation Recognition and ritual can help solidify a personal sense of identity and the communal celebration of living your true self. Take on a new Hebrew or daily-use name; acknowledge moments in your transition, Jewishly. A 60-90 minute preparation and learning session precedes a crafted ritual. Book your free consultation

Mourning & Loss Some losses are mourned communally, and others privately. Backed by the wisdom of Jewish tradition, we can create a ritual to acknowledge your loss in the way that feels meaningful. Book your free consultation

Out-of-the-Box Transitions Marking your entering menopause? Finalizing your divorce? Receiving the news your cancer is officially in remission? Life’s transitions need not be “happy” or “sad” to be marked with a ritual. We’ll work together to create something unique and meaningful, rooted in our adaptive Jewish tradition. Book your free consultation

speaking & teaching

A member in good standing of the Central Conference of American Rabbis (CCAR), Rabbi Nikki spent the formative years of her rabbinate at the NYU Bronfman Center for Jewish Student Life, where she mentored, taught, & led Reform Shabbat & holiday services in a pluralistic setting. She currently serves as a member of the CCAR’s Resolutions Committee; she is a former member of its Board of Trustees, & past Vice President for Varied Rabbinates. As a freelance rabbi, she can speak & teach on issues of inclusion & belonging, emerging adulthood, feminism, sexuality, polyamory, gender identity & expression, conversion, inclusion, & a host of other topics.

Rabbi Nikki, a white woman wearing a colorful dress and silk tallit (Jewish prayer shawl), speaks to signers of a ketubah (marriage contract)

Rabbi Nikki, a white woman in bright clothing, teaches about gender and the story of creation with her co-facilitator at the Buffalo Jewish Federation’s Conference on Belonging

Rabbi Nikki teaching during her child’s bar mitzvah in her own backyard, with a US Navy Chaplains’ Torah Ark in the background.

topics & torah

Nonbinary Inclusion: From the Ancient Androgynos to Our Community

Preparing for Our Existence: Proactive LGBTQ+ Inclusion in Jewish Community

No More Hiding under the Bed: Sex and Intimacy in Jewish Text Part 1

Pleasure Is a Mitzvah: Sex and Intimacy in Jewish Text Part 2

Judaism Is So Gay: Sex and Intimacy in Jewish Text Part 3

Nasty Women Study Torah: Bringing Third-Wave Feminism to Ancient Judaism

Nice Jewish Boys: Old Texts to Frame a New Non-Toxic Masculinity

Adam, Eve & Everyone Else: Sex, Gender, and Jewish Tradition

The Six Sexes of the Talmud and the Blessings of Gender Today

Am I Grown?: Growing, Parenting, Adulting & Aging Jewishly

Loving the Stranger: Empathy in Jewish Tradition

Not Just Shiva: Jewish Grief and Mourning for a Modern Age

presentations

Belonging Conference Keynote Speaker (Buffalo Jewish Federation, April 2022).

Open Tents and Open Hearts: Jews and Polyamory Panel (Center for Gay and Lesbian Studies, Pacific School of Religion, 20 February 2022)

Coffee with Clergy Interview on Nonbinary Inclusion (Central Synagogue, June 2021)

Exodus Queer Seder (Hillel @ Home, March 2021)

From Bloodguilt to Belonging: Evolving Jewish Perspectives on Queer Sexuality (Hobart & William Smith Colleges, March 2021)

Be Extra: Inclusion & How You Can Make the World a Better Place (William Paterson University Pride, October 2020)

Facing Inclusion (HIGA Hillel Talks, December 2018)

Exodus: NYU’s Annual Queer Seder (2014-2021)

Pastoral Care: When Personal Views Clash with Students' Views (NYU certificate, Leading Spiritual Diversity in Higher Education, July 2018)

Bad Sex (Consent on Campus) (Hillel International Senior Jewish Educator Monthly Webinar, February 2018)

Annual Forum on Religion (NYC Middle School 890 Forum on Religion, February 2018 & 2019)

Beyond the Binary: What Millennials Know about Gender (Women’s Rabbinic Network Webinar, November 2017)

Mean Girls: Women’s Friendships in Torah (Chutzpanit women’s empowerment, June 2017)

Let’s Talk about Sex (in a liberal Jewish way) (Adult Ed panel, Central Synagogue, December 2014)

Pride Shabbat (Guest Speaker, Teacher, Rabbi-In-Residence)

publications

Toward a New Framework for Reform Jewish Views on Polyamory (CCAR Journal: The Reform Jewish Quarterly, Fall 2022)

Sorry, We Don’t Have a Mikveh for You: Adapting Ritual for Gender Inclusion Beyond the Binary co-authored with Bonz Swencionis (CCAR Journal: The Reform Jewish Quarterly, Forthcoming, 2022)

Making Room for “They”: A Yes, And Approach to Nonbinary Inclusion & Single-Gender Spaces co-authored with Bonz Swencionis (CCAR Journal: The Reform Jewish Quarterly, Spring/Summer 2021)

Keeping the Gates: A Reflection on Being a Convert and a Rabbi (CCAR Journal: The Reform Jewish Quarterly, Summer 2020)

Integrating our Stories: LGBTQ Folks in the Jewish Community (A Life of Meaning: Embracing Reform Judaism’s Sacred Path, 2018)

Do our Kids Need Trigger Warnings this Year? (Kveller, August 2017)

Blessed is God Who Changes Us: Theological Que(e)ries (The Sacred Encounter: Jewish Perspectives on Sexuality, 2014)

The Asentath Cycle: Poems of Identity and Heritage (CCAR Journal: The Reform Jewish Quarterly, Summer 2014)

Sanctifying the Fulfillment of a Covenant: A Same-Sex ‘Re-Marriage (ReformJudaism.org, June 2014)

Articles available upon request via email. Rabbi Nikki also publishes weekly torah commentary. Subscribe above.

Rabbi Nikki has served on the Resolutions Committee of the Central Conference of American Rabbis since 2020. She has authored or co-authored the following:

Central Conference of American Rabbis and Women’s Rabbinic Network Resolution Affirming Our Commitment to Broad, Accessible Reproductive & Sexual Health Care

Central Conference of American Rabbis Resolution on the Status of the Human Embryo and Protecting Access to Fertility Care

Central Conference of American Rabbis Resolution: The People of the Book against Book Bans

Central Conference of American Rabbis Resolution on Advocating for Transgender People

Central Conference of American Rabbis Resolution on Systemic Inclusion for Disabled People

testimonials

“Our Jewish and non-Jewish family members alike were raving about how fantastic the ceremony was. Your words, your presence, and the way you wove together our personal story with our traditions made the day unforgettable. [...] You brought a depth of warmth and spirituality that made our ceremony stand out and resonate with all our guests. It was clear that you put your heart into every aspect of the service, and your care and attention made all the difference.”

— Jacob & Allison, Brooklyn NY

“Our meetings with you have inspired us to think more deeply about the intertwining of our personal values, what’s unique about our relationship, and how we would like to continue to incorporate Judaism into our lives.”

— Allie & Josh, Manhattan NY

“From the moment my husband and I met Rabbi Nikki, we felt at ease and knew she was the only choice for us for our wedding. Nikki is understanding, easy to work with, non-judgmental, funny, and extremely smart. She understood what was important to us in our wedding ceremony and made it happen. She is very detail-oriented and takes the responsibility and honor of performing a wedding with all the seriousness that it deserves. Rabbi Nikki has been a constant in other lifecycle events, too.”

— Louise & Dan, Bronx NY

“Our ceremony helped members of our community to see us [an interfaith couple] clearly and to understand our queer love for one another with honesty, love, and acceptance. The value of the words and the message Rabbi Nikki imparted on our wedding day will stay with us forever. I especially appreciate all of the ways that Rabbi Nikki is willing to individualize life cycle ceremonies to fit the needs of the individual and make Judaism welcoming for all in this modern era. We could not recommend Rabbi Nikki more highly, and we look forward to growing as a couple under her teaching.”

— Tal & Morgan, Nahant MA

“We felt distinctly blessed to find Nikki as our rabbi. In meetings ahead of the wedding, she provided intellectual, spiritual, and emotional guidance, and worked with us to design a ceremony that honored and fulfilled our own connections to Judaism and to each other. We heard from a number of friends and relatives how moving the ceremony was—it doesn’t hurt that she has a great singing voice [...].”

— Will & Irina, Queens NY

“Rabbi Nikki was so supportive and wonderful through the entire process of planning our ceremony and Ketubah. Being queer and wanting a Jewish wedding- even though one of us was not Jewish- we were worried we would not be able to find a Rabbi willing to marry us. She had nothing but love and understanding for us, and that shined through in her beautifully written and thoughtful words on our magical day. ”

— Noah & Eli, Brooklyn NY

queer belonging. sex positivity. creative ritual. inclusive judaism.