Rabbi Nikki (she/her) (BA, MA, PhD) connects folks to the breadth & depth of Jewish tradition through inclusive, innovative & insightful Jewish teaching, speaking & ritual. She works with folks privately and visits synagogues and other institutions as a guest preacher, teacher, speaker & leader of ritual. A tattooed, poly, queer, suburban stay-at-home parent, Rabbi Nikki was raised Catholic and converted to Judaism as an adult. She’s an avid reader (especially of romance), a fan of Buffy the Vampire Slayer & an occasional choral singer.

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abundant love: judaism & today’s polyamory

Rabbi Nikki is working on a book project: What can the practice of polyamory teach us about a liberated, feminist, queer-inclusive, contemporary Jewish life?

From relationships detached from ancient sexist frameworks to meaningful love inspired by the rich library of Torah and Talmud, Abundant Love: Judaism & Today’s Polyamory will offer fresh interpretive readings of ancient Biblical and Rabbinic texts, alongside contemporary poly thinking and experience, in order to challenge restrictive norms, expand a sense of belonging, and meaningfully connect to Jewish tradition and wisdom. Jewish folks of various family and relationship structures will find suggestions for ways to celebrate love in all its forms. Unrestricted by traditional halakhic (Jewish legal) methods, yet rigorous, this project will apply reading and interpretive strategies from the field of queer theory in ways accessible to the casual reader.

You can support Rabbi Nikki in this work by participating in a narrative survey for folks who identify as Jewish and polyamorous. Complete the Survey

Rabbi Nikki is fully booked for Spring and Summer of 2024. Please fill out the contact form below to inquire about Fall 2024 and beyond.

Your milestone moment or important transition deserves more than a cookie-cutter ceremony. Together we’ll explore existing customs and discuss your needs and values so that I can craft an experience that connects you and your community to a sense of relevant spirituality, deep Jewish learning, and broad peoplehood. I am passionate about providing a sense of rootedness and validation for all, including interfaith families, polyamorous folks, and queer folks seeking to embrace Judaism in their lives.

examples

Engagement & Wedding Combine the gravitas of a clergy-officiated ceremony with the personalization that comes from taking the time to learn and prepare together. 3 counseling sessions precede your ceremony day in my typical process, but can be customized. No co-officiation, but interfaith partners welcome. Queer and poly affirming. Booking for Fall 2024 and after.

Non-Traditional Weddings All lifecycle rituals I officiate are personally attuned and individually crafted. That said, I do officiate non-Jewish weddings, with a particular attention to ceremonies that challenge previous assumptions about marriage. Booking for Fall 2024 and after.

Baby or Child Naming & Welcoming Mark the entrance of a new person into your family and explore Jewish ideas around parenthood and community. A 45-60-minute preparation session precedes a warm ceremony. No co-officiation, but interfaith families welcome.

Bet Mitzvah Whether you’re marking a Jewish coming-of-age at 12 or 13, or endeavoring a period of study at any age, learn with Rabbi Nikki in preparation for a ritual of entering and claiming Jewish adulthood. Curriculum uses hevruta (paired) study to explore questions like “What does Jewish adulthood entail?”, “How do Jews cope when bad things happen to good people”, “What is prayer?”, and others. Booking for Winter 2025 and after.

Gender Affirmation Recognition and ritual can help solidify a personal sense of identity and the communal celebration of living your true self. Take on a new Hebrew or daily-use name; acknowledge moments in your transition, Jewishly. A 60-90 minute preparation and learning session precedes a crafted ritual.

Mourning & Loss Some losses are mourned communally, and others privately. Backed by the wisdom of Jewish tradition, we can create a ritual to acknowledge your loss in the way that feels meaningful.

Out-of-the-Box Transitions Marking your entering menopause? Finalizing your divorce? Receiving the news your cancer is officially in remission? Life’s transitions need not be “happy” or “sad” to be marked with a ritual. We’ll work together to create something unique and meaningful, rooted in our adaptive Jewish tradition.